The Gods got Facebook!
by Tash Salvatore
Summary: The Gods got Facebook! RUN! lol
1. The golden mango!

**Poseidon **got a new fish! YAY!

commented 4 hours ago

**Hades **Unfair!

**Zeus **I agree with Hades! How did you get something new?!

**Athena **You guys are so immature! And besides, if anyone deserved something new it should have been me!

**Zeus **Yeah right! You got a city named after you! It's time to let other Gods have the nice things!

**Poseidon **Your negative energy is upsetting my new fish!

**Athena **Fine! I was just leaving anyway.

**Zeus **What's wrong with sinyorita smartie pants?

**Hades **Period pains.

**Poseidon **That explains soooooo much.

* * *

**Anabeth **I got a new book on architecture! EEEP!

commented 2 minutes ago

**Percy **Stop going on about that stupid book!

**Grover **It's all you talk about!

**Anabeth **Go chew a can!

**Grover **Gladly!

* * *

**Dionysus **I am so drunk I can't even stand

commented 10 minutes ago

**Ares **The how come you can type?????

**Dionysus **Unlike some Gods (Ares) I can hold my drink

**Demeter **But then how come you can't stand????

**Dionysus **Do I have to say?

**Ares **Dude! Even saying, "Do I have to say?" is too much information! Now I feel sick!

**Demeter **Ditto!

* * *

**Travis **What idiot made permanent make up?!

commented 15 minutes ago

**Connor **At least you cloths fit you! I can barley move!

**Percy **What happened?

**Connor **The golden mango happened

**Percy **I don't think I wanna know

**Travis **You will when you see us at dinner

**Connor **The Ares cabin is gonna beat us up so bad

**Travis **But it was so worth it :D

**Connor **:D

**Clarisse** WTF are you two talking about?

**Travis **Just wait and see!


	2. Grover? Gay?

**Clarisse **OMG! The Stoll brothers looked like such retards at dinner!

Commented 7 minutes ago

**Conner **We told you so

**Percy **So what actually happened to you and your brother????

**Connor **Well we got a mango

**Travis **Spray painted it gold

**Connor **Wrote _For the hottest_ on the side of it

**Travis **And sneaked it into the Aphrodite cabin

**Connor **It was so funny

**Travis **But somehow they found out it was us so now we look like retards :'(

**Percy **LMAO!

**Anabeth **You guys are idiots

**Connor **At least we spelt out names right on fb!

**Anabeth **OMG! NOOOOOOO! I NEED TO FIND THE RIGHT SPELLING!

* * *

**Anabeth **How do I properly spell my name??? And also, why did no one tell me I spelt my name wrong??? :

Commented 20 minutes ago

**Percy **We thought you knew! :D

**Grover **Yeah! And we didn't want to get are heads chewed off!

**Anabeth **Very good reasons but how the hell do I spell my name! :

**Athena **How can you not know how to spell your name???? And BTW it's Annabeth not Anabeth :D

**Anabeth **Thanks mom!

* * *

**Zeus **Hera is angry at me, again

Commented 5 hours ago

**Hades **What happened Z??????

**Hermes **He looked at Aphrodite

**Poseidon **I can't believe you did that dude! You know Hera is EXREEEEMLY jealous! Lol

**HERA **I AM NOT!

**Poseidon **ARE SO!

**HERA **AM NOT!

**Hades **If you two are gonna fight just go into a chatroom!

**Ares **NO! Hades you idiot! You know I love a good fight!

**Hades **tehehehehehehehehehehe

* * *

**Grover **Needs to stay away from the archery section of the camp

Commented 7 hours ago

**Connor **What did you do?

**Percy **It wasn't what he did it is more of what I did

**Travis **What happened????????????

**Percy **I had a minotaur for a target and Grover's fur is exactly like the minotaur's fur! And Grover was walking behind my target so when I let got of the arrow I hit Grover :/

**Grover **It was sore! I had to chew on ten cans to help!

**Clarisse **Fattie!

**Grover **Percy hasn't shot you! You don't know anything about the pain I went through!

**Percy **I shot your ass you idiot!

**Grover **That doesn't stop the pain!

**Clarisse **Gay!

**Grover **I'm not Gay! I just bruise like a peach…

**Clarisse **So your gay!

**Percy **He's not gay! I've had my doubts but I know he's not gay!

**Clarisse **I am going to prove that he's gay! I promise you!

**Grover **You can try but you won't succeed!


	3. Ares has a Lazer!

**Clarisse **I want to congratulate Grover on coming out of the closet!

Commented 15 minutes ago

**Grover **For the last time I'm not gay!

**Selena **You also said you didn't eat my strawberry lip-gloss but look how that turned out lol

**Grover **When you just leave it out what do you expect?

**Selena **It was in my make up bag!

**Grover **Ummmmm……I call a short recess!

**Artemis **THE MINOTAUR BROKE MY FRIKIN BOW!!!!!

Commented 10 hours ago

**Ares **I didn't know you had fb!

**Artemis **Who told Ares I had a fb account?!

**Poseidon **…..

**Zeus **…..

**Hades **…..

**Artemis **You guys! Now I'm gonna have Ares commenting on all my posts!

**Poseidon **So are we still going to meet up in Chicago?

**Hades **Dude that's suicide!

**Ares **I like a fight but if u meet up wiv Arti, ur toast!

**Artemis **MY NAME ISN'T ARTI!!!!!!!!!!

**Zeus **Is it the time of the month?

**Ares **I think it is

**Poseidon **Do all the Goddess have the same time of the month?

**Zeus **I think so 'cause Hera's been real crabby lately

**Ares **Z, Hera's been crabby for the last two thousand years!

**Hades **Ares is right, for once

**HERA **Hay! I'm not that bad!

**Poseidon **….

**Zeus **….

**Hades **…..

**Ares **….

**Artemis **You think after two thousand years they would have grown up

**HERA **At least your not married to one *rolls eyes*

**Rachel **Hates Connor

Commented 9 hours ago

**Connor **What did I do????????

**Rachel **Hello! You walked in on me when I was in the shower!

**Connor **I didn't mean to!

**Rachel **Then why did you have your camera phone??!!!

**Connor **I thought it was Travis, not you

**Travis **What did I do to you?!!!!

**Connor **You told the Athena cabin that I was a unic!

**Travis **Oh yeah! LMAO!

**Rachel **Hello! There is a still a picture of me, in the shower, on fb!

**Connor **Well I didn't put it on!

**Travis **teheheheheh

**Rachel **Travis Stoll I am so sending you on a quest with fire and torture!

**Travis **Oh boy :/

**Dionysus **The sky looks pretty tonight

Commented 5 minutes ago

**Chiron **Are you on drugs or something??????

**Demeter** Yeah, you may be a drunk but you've never come out with that crap!

**Ares **I didn't give him _anything _but he might be on weed

**Zeus **Gods can get high?

**Demeter **Z! You must be really thick! And yes we can!

**Grover **OMG! I didn't know you guys had fb! I totally have to send you guys invites!

**Ares **I told you that we should have banned demi gods from using fb but NOOOOO! You guys didn't listen to me and now we have the dweebs adding us! No one listen to me anymore!

**Zeus **Well after the WW1 incident we don't really trust your judgment

**Ares **How was I meant to know that they were virgins?!

**Demeter **That's not the point! You blew them up without a second thought!

**Ares **Well I didn't know that you wanted them!

**Zeus **Get a chatroom!

**Grover **NO! this is good camp gossip! Don't stop!

**Ares **Can I blow the stupid satyr up?

**Zeus **no, because he irritates you so much

**Ares **Prick

**Zeus **Love you too lol

**Grover **OMG! Zeus is gay!

**Zeus **AM NOT!

**Ares** Come on! Just blow him up! Please! I won't ask for anything else!

**Zeus **Tempting, but no

**Ares **Damn! Will I ever get to use my lazer?! 


	4. NO WAY!

**Aphrodite **I love Ares!

Commented 17 hours ago

**Hephaestus **What?! But you love me! How can you love that air head?!!!???!!!!!

**Ares **She digs the A man!

**Hephaestus **She only wants you for one reason and you know it!

**Ares **Well no wonder cause your name sounds like a sexually transmitted infection! At least she's safe with me!

**Dionysus **Too much information!

**Zeus **Yeah! What happens if goat boy reads this?!

**Grover **My eyes! They burn!

**Zeus **Told you so!

**Poseidon **We all knew that Hephaestus name sounded like _that _but we just didn't say it! Come on Ares! Keep the comments for a chatroom! What if Percy see's this?!

**Percy **Why Ares? Why?! I'm gonna tell the whole camp!

**Poseidon **I hate to say what Z said but I told you so!

**Travis **Who put the lizard in my bed???!!!!!!!!!

Commented 3 minutes ago

**Connor **OMG! You found Bob! Where did you put him?!

**Travis **I put him outside!

**Connor **Oh Crap

**Travis **What is it?

**Connor **Well, the lizard is kind of enchanted

**Travis **so what can it do?

**Connor **It pee's acid

**Travis **Holy shit! That's why I heard the Apollo cabin screaming!

**Connor **They are going to kill us!

**Travis **Us?! What do you mean _US_?!!!!!!

**Connor **Hello! We have been prank buddies since we were in pampers! I can't face the Apollo cabin on my own!

**Travis **Why not?

**Connor **Their cabin leader, Melody, scares the crap out of me!

**Travis **Me too! After we booby trapped her cabin she wants to kill us!

**Connor **So, are we in this together?

**Travis **Lets face that manly looking girl (Melody) Together!

**Melody **I do have facebook you know!

**Connor **Crap!

**Travis **Run!

**Hades **bad news

Commented 15 minutes ago

**Zeus **What happened?

**Hades **I saw my daughter Bianca today

**Poseidon **And?

**Hades **She started to check out this dead fifteen year old!

**Zeus **So Bianca was a…

**Hades **Uh huh

**Poseidon **Dude, that's rough. If Percy tuned out to be gay I don't know what I'd do

**Percy **Just to put your mind at ease, I'm not gay!

**Poseidon **Thank Gods!

**Hades **Percy, did you know that Bianca was a…

**Percy **Hell no! It's not exactly a thing you ask a friend!

**Nico **OMG! Bianca's a….

**Hades **I know! I didn't know either!

**Nico **You think you know a person and they turn out to be a…

**Grover **Are you guys homophobic or something?

**Clarisse **Give it a rest Grover! We know you're gay!

**Grover **I'm not gay!!!!!!

**Hades **This is why demi gods shouldn't have facebook! Ugh!

**Grover **What's wrong with the king of darkness?

**Zeus **Do demi gods not read or something?! Ugh!

**Poseidon **OMG! They've caught period pains! OMG! I might catch them!


	5. Yawn Rape!

**Nico **The rumors are true! Grover is gay! I am scared! I will never yawn again!

Commented 6 hours ago

**Percy **WTF happened?! Grover isn't gay!

**Nico **Then why did he yawn rape me?!

**Percy **What?! Grover doesn't yawn rape people! OMFG! Luke yawn raped you!

**Nico **How do you know?! I thought it was Grover but Luke sounds a bit more obvious!

**Percy **I know because……I have been yawn raped! I had ten months of Therapy!

**Annabeth **Ditto! But Luke yawn raped me numerous times so I got…………….YRA!

**Nico **WTF IS YRA!

**Annabeth **It's Yawn Rape Aids!

**Nico **OMFG! I have to get tested! NOW!!!!!!!!

* * *

**Ares **OMG! I managed to do the impossible!

Commented 5 minutes ago

**Poseidon **What did you do?

**Ares **I banged Artemis and Hera at the same time!

**Zeus **I can't believe you've accomplished what I've spent years trying to do! :-

**Ares **When you got it! You got it!

**Hades **Hang on! I thought Artemis gave up sex ages ago!

**Ares **Well the ladies do anything when they're drunk

**Dionysus **Fucking hell! Why didn't I think of that! And I always knew Hera was a……you know……..

**Zeus **OMFG! I married a lesbian! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

**Poseidon **The weather forecast of New York is not looking good! I advise umbrellas to all humans!

**Hades **And staying away from electrical conductors! Lol :D

**Grover **OMG! More gossip for the camp! YAY!

**Athena **OMFG! It's the yawn rapier! RUUUUUUUUUUN!

* * *

**Annabeth **does anyone have condoms?! We need them now!

Commented 1 minute ago

**Percy **When I said ask around I didn't mean ask everyone on fb!

**Annabeth **Do you wanna have sex tonight or not?!

**Percy **Fine! Does anyone have a condom?!

**Grover **I do but I was gonna use it…..to…..you know…..

**Percy **Grover! Our need is greater than yours so FIVE US THE FUCKING CONDOMS!

**Connor **I thought I gave you a pack of condoms this morning!

**Percy **You did but me and Annabeth had a lot of showers today * Cheeky, mischievous grin *

**Connor **I could of lived in ignorance to that but noooooo! You just had to me! Holy crap! I have bad images now! Thank you very much Mr. Percy 'dick' Jackson!


	6. Twit That Shit!

**LAST JANUARY**

**WE BROUGHT YOU**

**THE GODS GOT FACEBOOK**

**WELL,**

**FACEBOOK BROKE DOWN FOR A FEW MONTHS**

**AND THOSE SICK MOTHER FUCKERS DIDN'T FIX IT**

**UNTILL NOW….**

**FACEBOOK IS UP AND RUNNING**

**THE GODS AND DEMIGODS DIDN'T GO ON THAT SHIT BIRD THING**

**(YEAH, I THINK IT'S CALLED TWITTER!**

**THAT'S WHY PEOPLE SAY**

"**LET'S TWIT THIS SHIT)**

**SO THEY'RE BACK**

**AND THEY'RE FUNNIER THAN EVER! **

**BE PREPARED TO LAUGH YOUR ASS OFF!**

* * *

**Grover **I hate Twilight!

Commented five seconds ago

**Annabeth **WTF is wrong with you?! How can you hate twilight?!?!?!?!?!??!!??!?!?!!??!?!?!?!?!

**Grover **It's shit!

**Annabeth **It's so not!!!! Long live Edward!!!!

**Athena **What the hell is Twilight?

**Percy **You just had to ask, didn't you?! DIDN'T YOU!!!!

**Annabeth **OMFG! MOM!!!!! HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW WHAT TWILIGHT IS?! IT'S THE BETS THING EVER!!!! YOU HAVE TO READ THE BOOKS AND WATCH THE MOVIE'S!!!! OMG! PERCY! WE SHOULD SO WATCH TWILIGHT AND NEW MOON THIS AFTERNOON!!!!! 3

**Percy **SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE, ATHENA?! CRAZY BITCH!!!

**Gorver **

**Annabeth **OMG! Grover! You should watch Twilight and New moon with me and Percy!

**Grover **……..

**Percy **I'm gonna twit this shit!

**Connor **OH NO YOU DIDN"T!!!!!

* * *

**Connor **Percy uses twitter!!! =O

Commented 5 hours ago

**Travis **NO WAY!!!

**Percy **What's wrong with using twitter?

**Connor **EVRYTHING!!!

**Poseidon **Percy, I'm very disappointed

**Percy **it's only twitter!! It's just like facebook!

**Zeus **=O

**Hades **=O

**HERA **=O HE DID _NOT _JUST SAY THAT!

**Connor **You sick son of a bitch! Don't you EVER say that facebook is like twitter! OK?!

**Percy **ALRIGHT! We cool dude?

**Connor **Don't dude me!

**Percy **Ok man! I'll see you in weapons class!

**Connor **yes, yes you will…..

* * *

**Hades **Bianca has a girlfriend…..

Commented a day ago

**Nico **Damn! Who is it?

**Poseidon **I still can't believe she's a….you know…

**Zeus **I can't believe you got the gay kid! I personally thought it would be Percy who was gay but he's with Annabeth

**Nico **DAD! WHO'S BIANCA'S GIRLFIREND?!

**Hades **It's Thalia….

**Grover **NO FUCKING WAY! I'M GONNA TELL EVERYBODY!!

**Poseidon **Who let goat boy back on facebook?!

**Zeus **Thalia….is a…..she can't be….

**Thalia **Hades! I'm not fucking gay!!!!

**Hades **Holy shit! I better run!

**Artemis **You better run fast boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The hunt is after you!

**Grover **Hades you are screwed!

**Poseidon **I'm gonna ban grover from facebook! Hahahahahahahaha!

* * *

**Travis **My brother has been banned from FB

Commented 3 minutes ago

**Hermes **Why???????

**Travis **He kind of did something to Percy….

**Percy **CONNOR YAWN RAPED ME!!!!!! I HAVE BEEN VIOLATED!!!!!!! I FEEL DIRTY! DIRTY I SAY!!! DIRTY!!!!!

**Travis **From Connor: Percy YOU CAN TWIT THAT SHIT, DUDE!

* * *

**Ares **Who the fuck is Kesha?!

Commented five minutes ago

**Aphrodite **You don't know who Ke$ha is!!!! =O

**Ares **What's with the '$'? I thought is was and 's'!

**Aphrodite **It looks cooler with a '$'!

**Ares **OMFG! Chavs will name their kid $hanaynay or $hanon or some fucked up shit like that!!!!

**Aphrodite **Ok, then I'll call you Are$ =D

**Ares **Don't you fucking dare!!!!!!

**Aphrodite **Are$!

* * *

**Clarisse **GROVER PLAYS WITH HIMSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Commented 10 minutes ago

**Grover **I do not!!!!!

**Percy **We do not!

**Clarisse **I wasn't talking about you Percy……

**Percy **oh….well good! Cause I don't! I'm just gonna go….

**Grover **I DON"T PLAY WITH MY SECOND IN COMAND!!!

**Clarisse **OMFG!

**Travis **From Connor: Percy twit dat shit man!!!

**Travis **Connor Stop stealing my laptop!

* * *

**Annabeth **Has anyone else seen the new fat ginger camper????

Commented 35 seconds ago

**Selene **I have! He's so damn fat!

**Thalia **I heard he couldn't even get into the bathrooms cause he's so fat!

**Grover **I heard he Franked Sinatraed his solider!

**Dionysus **You kids are mean! You shouldn't talk about fat people that way!

**Percy **I heard he's so fat that if he swims he'll sink!

**Poseidon **OMG! There's a fat kid! WHERE?! OMFG! He's ginger as well!!!! TELL ME WHERE HE IS!!!!! NOW!!!!!!

* * *

**I'm sorry for not updating for a while, I really am! I just had a serious case of writers block!**

**I hoped you enjoyed this chapter!**

**I tried to put a little bit of plot in it because Poseidon is now going to try and ban Grover from facebook. I hope that's enough plot for now. **

**I hope The Gods Got Facebook is still as good as it was **

**and if it isn't or you don't like something about**

**please tell me and I'll try and make it better **

**=)**

**~Tash**


	7. Melody's Revenge!

**Poseidon **I did it!

Commented five minutes ago

**Hades **dude, it took you 2000 years to finally loose your…you know….

**Zeus **Hades! Don't tease him! You know he was always a…late comer XD lol

**Poseidon **You guys are so mean! And that's not what I did!

**Hades **dude,so you're still a virgin?

**Zeus **Even your son has lost the big "v"!

**Poseidon **I HAVE LOST MY FUCKING VIRGINITY AND YOUR WIFE (ZEUS) IS THE ONE WHO TOOK IT! =

**Hades **no need to get angry…dude

**Poseidon **WILL FUCKING STOP SAYING 'DUDE'! IT MAKES POSEIDON MAD!

**Hades **Oh! So you're like Gordon Ramsey!

**Zeus **…………………………………..

**Hades **Dude, what's with the dots?

**Poseidn **YOU'RE 2000 YEARS OLD! WHEN YOU STOP SAYING DUDE?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

**HADES **When I break a hip, dude!

**Ares **yep, we're screwed

**Travis **Connor: Percy, TWIT DAT SHIT!

**Percy **You get one twitter account and you're life is over!

**

* * *

Athena **Ok, WTF is Yawn Rape? I mean, I've read all these comments that say "OMG I've been yawn raped!" and I'm just like "WTF?"!

Commented five seconds ago

**Percy **Oh…my….Gods…..

**Annabeth **Did you just say what I think you just said?

**Grover **You did not just ******* say that you didn't know what yawn rape was!

**Grover **Wait a second! Why can't I ******* swear my ******* *** off?!?!?!?!?

**Poseidon **moahhahahaha……

**Athena **I don't know what yawn rape is!

**Travis **Yawn Rape: _The act of placing your index finger into the mouth of a friend as they are at the peak of a yawn._

**Athena **That's actually quite amusing! =D

**Annabeth **You sick twisted bitch!

**Percy **There is nothing funny about yawn rape!

**Luke **teheheheh….yes there is….tehhehehe…..

**

* * *

Connor **I can use facebook again! Twit dat shit Percy!

Commented a day ago

**Connor **so no one is going to comment?

**Connor **not even one of you?

**Connor **Out off the whole camp, no one comments!

**Lizzie **I'll comment =)

**Connor **Who the fuck are you?

**Lizzie **I'm in your cabin, remember?

**Connor **no, I don't remember you….

**Lizzie **We arrived at camp together!

**Connor **Lizzie, I DON"T CARE! I'M WAITING FOR SOMEONE COOL TO COMMENT!

**Percy **I'm defiantly going to twit this shit hahhahhahahaha lol

**Connor **HAHA! You commented!

**Percy **I cannot believe I fell for that! UGH!

**

* * *

Grover **Did anyone else see Glee last night?

Commented fifteen minutes ago

**Clarisse **And you just happen to watch Glee, and still say that you aren't gay?

**Grover **I'm not gay!!!!!!!!!

**Clarisse **So you say….

**Grover ****** you!

**Grover **WHY THE **** CAN'T I SWEAR?!?!?!?!??!

**Poseidon **moahahahahah……

**Grover **WHAT DID YOU ******* DO?!?!?!??!!

**Poseidon **It's a secret! Shhhhhhh!

**

* * *

Melody **has just recovered from acid lizard pee!

Commented five minutes ago

**Connor **Fuck =|

**Travis **yeah, you're screwed! =D

**Connor **What happened to parterners in crime?!

**Travis **Your lizard! Your mess!

**Connor **and after all the time we pranked together!

**Travis **This aint a prank! This was you acid peeing pet!

**Connor **yeah…but still!

**Travis **AND Bob wasn't even my pet!

**Connor **Actually, it's "BoB", not "Bob"

**Travis **Does it really matter?

**Melody **I'm going to kill you Connor….

**Travis **That's a bit weird since there was no "lol"….

**Connor **it's like she mean it….

**Melody **I do…

**Connor **Crap! Hide me!

**Travis **No! Hide yourself!

**Connor **Percy! Please, hide me under water!

**Percy **maybe after I twit this shit =)

**Connor **You basterd!

**Percy **says the one who made me a GIRL for a DAY!

**Connor **Oh yeah….I forgot about that =P

**

* * *

Poseidon **I found the fat ginger kid! =D

Commented a few seconds ago

**Athena **you're so mean!

**HERA **Yeah Poseidon, what is your problem?

**Artemis **You shouldn't pick on ginger kids!

**Zeus **It's a God/Demi God/Human's right to pick on a fat _ginger _person!

**Artemis **Who said so?!

**Zeus **Hello? Kind of king of the world! =D

**Hades **You go Z dude!

**Poseidon **Long live Z!

**Are$ **Rock on Z!

**Zeus **What the fuck is up with your name?

**Are$ **It's like that Ke dollor sign ha person! =O

**Hades **Who, dude?

**Are$ **you know, Ke$ha? Lady Gaga Jr.?

**Hades **OHHHH! I know who she is!

**Zeus **Me too!

**Poseidon **I get it now!

**Grover **OMG! Are$ has a gay name! I must tell everyone!

**Are$ **One, I didn't make my name like this! Two, PLEASE LET ME LAZER GOAT BOY! PLEASE!

**Zeus **NO!

**Are$ **Damn you!


	8. A Day at the Beech!

**A notification came up on the demi Gods and Gods Facebook. They were all incredibly freaked out by this notification and so they decided to not go on Facebook for the day. Instead, they went to the beech. **

**You may be wondering what this notification said. **

**Well I'll tell you what it said. **

**Natasha Duffy is thirteen today. Do you want to wish her a happy birthday? **

Only a few Gods and demi gods decided to go to the beech because they thought they were being stalked by a randomer. The other demi gods and Gods just wished her a happy birthday and got on with their lives.

Percy, Annabeth and Grover were sitting at the back of the bus while Connor and Travis sat in front of them, worrying about their trip to the beech.

"Dude, you're screwed," Travis told his brother.

"Why?" Connor asked.

"Because we're going to the see and you've pissed off the guy who is the son of the sea God," Travis told him.

Connor thought for a moment. True, it was a great disadvantage, but what about the pros of the situation? Percy would never be able to drown, or be free from an explosion of feathers and honey…so many ways to torture Percy…

So, Connor and Travis started to plan a day that Percy would never be able to forget no matter how much therapy he got. Meanwhile, in front of then sat Clarisse who was planning to prove Grover's gayness. She couldn't really find a way so she went on her IPod to watch the Philip Defranco Show on YouTube and found that gay marriage was legal! She had just stumbled upon the Holy Grail! Now she could mock him! Mock him until he cries like the little gay satyr he is!

As Clarisse did her evil laugh Hades, Zeus and Poseidon were having a serious debate in front of her.

"Dude, how did you stop Grover from swearing?" Hades asked him.

"Well, I was trying to ban him from Facebook but I can't do that, so I just got my army of nerds to stop him from swearing," Poseidon told them proudly.

"YOU HAVE AN ARMY OF NREDS AND YOU NEVER TOLD US?" Zeus shouted and the whole bus went quiet.

Zeus looked at all the people who were staring at him and tears started pouring from his eyes.

"I'm sorry. It's just that I always wanted an army of nerds!" He sobbed.

"I'm so gonna tell everyone that Zeus is a gay nerd lover!" Grover announced.

"Fuck you Grover!" Zeus shouted and pouted for the rest of the journey to the beech.

So after the bus almost crashed. Dionysus was driving and nobody was sure who let him drive but he drove them there anyway with a bottle of red whine in one hand and the other on the steering wheel. People suspect that he was trying to change gear with the hand that was meant to be on the steering wheel and that is how they almost died.

Once the demi gods was in the water, splashing about having fun they started to notice a kid staring at them.

"Hey, is it just me or is that kid staring at us?" Connor asked.

"That kid is staring at," Annabeth noted and stared at everyone else. "Why the hell is he staring at us?"

"I don't know but it's kinda freaking me out," Grover said.

"You're so gay, and come on! We fight monsters and yet you guys are scared on a kid staring at you," Clarisse told them.

"Yeah, but…it's creepy," Percy commented.

Then for few moments the gang stared at the little kid. Then the kid flipped them off.

"That's just rude!" Travis exclaimed.

"I don't think that kid has manners!" Annabeth said, shocked that she had just been flipped off.

"Why is it that every time we go on a day trip we get flipped off?" Grover asked as a rhetorical question.

Over on the sandy part of the beech the Gods were lying down on beech towels trying get tanned.

"Hades, you do know that you can't get tanned, right?" Zeus told him.

"Why not?" Hades asked.

"because you're ginger," Zeus said.

"No I'm not! I have black hair!" Hades shouted, sitting up.

"Actually, mom died your hair when you were born because you were ginger and it freaked out our dad," Poseidon told him.

"Bullshit!" Hades shouted as little kid ran past. "Well fuck…"

Then, halfway through the day it started to rain as the young demi gods started to dig a hole. They planned to get Poseidon to bury them all in it. They used spades and their hands to dig the hole as the rain was hammering down. Their hair became rat tail like.

"We kind of look like those guys from lost," Travis told everyone as he flung a huge pile of sand out of the whole.

"What the hell is Lost?" Percy asked.

"It's this show that has been going on for ages and it's about these people whose plan crashed on an Island and one of the guys sleeps with his sister," Travis told them.

"Isn't that the guy who also plays Damon in the vampire diaries?" Annabeth asked.

"What the hell is that?" Travis and Connor asked at the same time.

"It's something about vampires that is too complicated for boys to understand," Percy told them and everyone carried on digging in silence until Clarisse cause all hell to break loose.

"So, Grover, are you excited?" Clarisse asked him with a smile on her face.

"About what?" Grover asked, very confused as to what Clarisse was talking about.

"You know, the gay marriage thing," Clarisse said, muffling her laughter with her hands.

Grover then went still for a moment. He had no expression on his face. Then he threw down his spade and lunged at Clarisse. She screamed and ran away while Travis, Connor, Percy and Annabeth tried to hold him back. They didn't succeed. Now Clarisse has a black eye.

After they got buried in the hole and got out they decided to go back to Camp Half-Blood. It took a while to get back but they were all glad to see the computers until they say the notification again.

When Connor saw the notification he stood up, walked to the front of his cabin and shouted, "TWIT THAT SHIT PERCY! TWIT THAT FUCKING SHIT!"

Percy, hearing Connor shout at him from halfway across camp he muttered to himself, "Even when we're not on the internet he still fucking says that."

**

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The reason I made this chapter is for three reasons. **

**One, I haven't written a chapter in a while. **

**Two, my friend and me went to the beech on Thursday and we got flipped off by a little girl twice and dug a hole. **

**And three, It's my birthday on the 7****th**** even though it's the 6****th**** right now as I'm writing this but I wanted to get it done so I can know that I don't really have to do anything on my birthday except have fun. **

**So thank you to everyone who's read this FanFic and find it funny. I love you all! **

**I even love the haters because their reviews make me laugh! **

**Have a nice day or night wherever you are :D **


	9. Percy Jackson's Year's Worth of Shit!

**Fact: Demi Gods celebrate Christmas. I know, I know. Christmas is about baby Jesus but I will say this to you, Jesus wasn't born on the 25th of December! And while I'm at it:**

**Santa Clause is a paedophile, serial killer and a thief!**

**Hanukkah is the celebration of the Easter bunnies funeral!**

**Godzilla could kick superman's ass, he just chooses to cut the guy some slack!**

**AND! When you turn 10 the tooth fairy stops giving you money and steals your teeth!**

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**So, there is this thing on Facebook that puts all the status's you've put up through out 2010 into one picture and I have decided that until Christmas I will write a each characters status picture AND make an actual picture of what I've written! I know what your thinking, you'll probably do buger all but this is my presents for you because I have had 16,408 hits, 94 favs and 87 alerts! So spread the word, sit back and read all to your hearts content!**

**So to kick of the 2010 status's, Pursues Jackson!**

I can't believe it's 2010! I thought the world would have ended before now! – I walked into the Aphrodite cabin to see if anyone could help me buy some jewellery for Annabeth but I only walked in on the girls half naked! I'm scared! Partly because they threw stuff at me and because I can never unsee what I saw – Connor and Travis came up to me today and gave me a drink. It was my favourite so I thanked them and drank it. Little did I know that it was going to turn me into A FUCKING GIRL! – Has just discovered NCIS and it's really odd. One old dude is building a boat, another is a pervert that sleeps with anything in a skirt, a girl that worked for the president, a goth with farting hippo and a guy called duckie. WTF? – I went into the normal word today and bought a new shirt. I then spilt stuff on the shirt I was wearing so I changed into the one I just bought and a guy came up to me and asked if I was single :/ - I went to the Ares cabin to ask for sugar because they always have sugar, but no one was there. I went into their little kitchen bit and found a tin of white powder. I took the tin back to my cabin and made a cup of tea with 3 spoons of the white powder. Next thing I knew, the trees where moving and the grass was trying to kill me. – I 3 Annabeth – Grover you are one made satyr! – Like my status and I write what I think about you on your wall – Wishes the nymphs would STOP FUCKING SINGING! IT'S 12 O'CLOCK AT NIGHT! SHUT THE FUCK UP! : - I will twit that shit! – Had a weird day at the beach. Strange children. – It's almost Halloween! – Halloween hasn't even passed and people are already blinding me with Christmas! – Forgot Annabeth's birthday. Fuck. - I FUCKING HATE YOU ALL AND NONE OF YOU ARE GETTING PRESENTS YOU SELFISH BASTERDS!

Percy Jackson

A year's worth of shit

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**For Percy's Status Picture check my profile page :) **


	10. Annabeth Chase's Sprinkle's of Genius!

If you drop a dime off the top of the empire state building it'll probably kill someone XD – I wonder what would happen if someone tried to resurrect Einstein…. – watched twilight again! OMG! R Patz glittery is like heaven! – Damon or Stefan? I can't decide they're both so…hot - I can't believe what happened in the finale of 90210! It was so dramatic! I was screaming at the tv! – I was going to surprise Percy on his birthday with breakfast in bed but I head noises outside so I got my blade ready and rushed in but Percy fell off his bed and said to go away because he was very busy with his second in command…- drank four cans of pepsi and grover declared his love for me ;D – I got a new book on architecture! EEEP! - Percy is such an asshole! Should I saw or rip his balls of? : - How do I properly spell my name? And also, why did no one tell me I spelt my name wrong? : - WANTS CHOCOLATE! I CAN HANDLE A LITTLE SUGAR! IT'S NOT LIKE I'M GONNA GO GRAZY ***eyes twitching*** - Does anyone have condoms? We need them now! – wishes that the clouds where made of candy floss and that grass was made of liquorice….IT'S AFTER ME! THE GIANT TORTUSE! NOOOOOOO! – Has anyone else seen the new fat ginger camper? – I miss the Easter bunny - Why does no one like rats? – I all the boys at camp half-blood catch periods, the selfish basterds…. – IT"S ALMOST CHRISTMAS! 3 :D

Annabeth Chase

Sprinkle's of genius!

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**Annabeth's year status picture is on my profile :)**

**The name of the facebook app that inspired my christmas treat for you guys is called My Year In Status :) ****Try it out and if your feeling brave show it too me by private message because I'll put mine on my profile page :) **


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